KE$HA KONFU$ION

 San Luis Obispo's downtown nightlife has decided to adopt me as their Ke$ha lookalike. Quite frankly, Im not getting paid enough. 

     It first occurred in the lively Library Bar on a saturday night. There I was, dancing off the latest cactus cooler when a shriek scaled over the blaring techno music.

     "KE$HA?!! OMG ITS KE$HA!!"

Suddenly I was confronted by a very enthusiastic stranger who loved the flash of a camera. There was no convincing him that i was not his beloved singer, so as the music continued to pulse we promised to be best friends (the title of his number that became saved in my phone).
  
     Sure, I was flattered at the beginning. I had no idea who this Ke$ha person was and none of you can deny that being mistaken for a celebrity has the potential to be quite the compliment.
     Until, that is, I discovered these Youtube Videos:





Then, to make matters worse, I began to be informed of the similarities people connected us with:

• We both have crazy hair. In my defense, I respect my hair enough to let it run free - it has those rights. So no matter how many colors of blonde is in it, or how wavy and wild it gets, at least it is doing its own thing. 
• Our eyeliner loves to leave its mark. So what? Im having a good time.
• Often we do not have both of our shoes on. Yes, I lose my shoes occasionally when I go downtown. Have you tried walking home in knee high high heeled boots? You would of thrown them into a bush too! That is a story for another time though.
• The outfits we model tend to be black and.... random. Well, how else does fashion change? As for the color choice, I've never been a neat person. Black can cover accidental scrapes and spills till i get home.
• The dancing - Ive never claimed to be a pro. I feel i have to make up for it with a few more hair tosses and enthusiasm.... right?
• The common incident in where we end up on the floor or in a corner..... Ok, so for that one I have no defense.

There ARE differences which I would like to point out:

• Ke$ha is 6'1". Im 5'4". You do the math.
• I cannot stand glitter. Seriously. After a roommate's birthday party which involved several tons of glitter, I couldn't escape the stuff for months. Kesha has said that before every concert she and her band cover themselves in baby oil and roll in glitter. So while Ke$ha is constantly adorned with it, keep it away from me!
• She presented an award with Justin Beiber. If i ever got near the kid, i would enroll him back into Jr. High. 
• I crack mirrors if I even attempted to sing - I assume Ke$ha has some talent in this department.
• $$$ are the last thing i want to adorn my name with. They only remind me how little of it I have.

Sadly, do not assume that the incident mentioned previously is the sole occurrence of this mistaken identity -

1. My friends who were with me that night found it so hilarious, I now have several groups of friends using it as a "dear" nickname. ahem. I prefer not to hear "blah blah blah" every time i start to talk.
2. During Doppelganger week on facebook, a friend actually used one of my pics as her doppelganger, titling it as "Ke$ha". (If you have no idea what Doppelganger week is, find out more here http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/02/02/doppelganger-on-facebook_n_446636.html ).
3. Last Saturday on our my way back from downtown, I found myself chatting with, yet again, a random stranger. My friends, who were across the street, decided to yell their beloved nickname for me in an attempt to get me to catch up to them. The girl I was with stopped, looked at me excitedly and exclaimed " I just requested your haircut to my hairdresser!"

Sigh.

If downtown continues to claim me as their Ke$ha, at least buy me a drink. She might be making headway with her music, but my pockets are still those of a college kid - empty.

(This weekend Ke$ha will be making her debut SNL appearance as the musical guest)

Anniversary

Its been two years since my "dark weekend" as I prefer to call it. I was reminded of this tonight when i stumbled upon a journal that had this among its pages:

April 2008

I

push pull tug grab scream smash beat infuriate -
all to see a loyal reaction.

Frustration's ransom dethrones my tears -
Im immune to Sanity.

What wind i ride not many tame
I fear its getting the best of me.


I admit old wounds ripped open for a moment when I read it. I pray to God i will never have to go there again. For now im taking deep breaths, reminding myself of my current situation - which is much brighter in a general sense.

A Visit

On wed my brother will be visiting me -the first time for this year. As years accumulate I become more aware of how precious my relationship with this lone sibling of mine is. Memories of our childhood will be sure to come up again on this site, but know this: Cody is one of my few heros. Not only is he extremely talented, but having the honor of watching him grow up has been such an inspiration. This weekend is Poly Royal, Cal Poly's rodeo held during open house. Cody and I will be stopping by and making our greetings!

Sugarless Coating

I have become well aware that i lack the sweetness which usually accompanies words in conversations. My admiration for strong, bold distinctions in communication is quite unique, at least when my attempts to mesh with this society occur. Lets be honest - it is not well received.
Being misunderstood is common, and something i have accepted without bitterness. Yet the avoidance i see so clearly from peers is quite irritating - my perception shows they constantly refrain from entertaining reality and its accompanying truths. This is probably why i have used even sharper edges in dialogue: to catch the initial reactions displayed through civilization's expression. It is only then, within that moment, can i trust reality to be portrayed correctly.
Of course, I am not perfect; I often times spin myself in dizzying circles chasing the tail of validity. Still, I cannot comprehend how the frosting of sweetness can provide the pivotal key to successfully assimilate my associates. Is it sympathy they require of their compeers in order to truly revel in pure communication?
My only option has to be ignorance. I am ignorant of some link, some path I have not respected or analyzed in seeking out amends to this issue. Am I proud? not in the least - nor do i claim to be right, which is why I so desperately hunt for acumen.
I am uneasy in letting difficulties drift. There must be something I can do by altering myself to rectify this situation. I cannot accept this as a mere fact, nor will I resort to sugar coatings. Why cloud the mirror to reality with thick layers of "appropriateness"? My words may lack the satisfaction sugar can provide, but at least they are organic in their intentions.